These questions can be used in a number of ways. Here are some brief instructions:
- If there are two of you or you can break up into groups of two, take turns asking each other the following questions. Set a timer and interview each other for approx. 15 minutes each.
- If you are more than two, you can also discuss these questions as a group. Start by selecting a moderator. The moderator starts by reading the instructions. Take one question at a time, going around the group, then open up the discussion for all.
- The point of the exercise isn’t about saying the “right” thing. It’s supposed to give you the chance to share your views and experiences, to listen and be supportive. Don’t interrupt each other and try to listen actively and encouragingly, don’t criticize. If you’re brave and generous, it’s a much easier process!
- Go ahead and finish up with a round of questions about how it felt to discuss these topics and talk about what kind of goals we can set going forward with this work to change things.
Warm up questions! Just answer yes or no!
- It’s okay for men to cry… at football games
- Girls are better listeners than guys
- If I have a child, I want it to be a son
- I have no problem with wearing a skirt to work
- I want to be like my dad
- When I hug a guy, I finish it with a pat on the back
What’s it like to be friends with guys or men?
Possible follow-up questions: Are you ever jealous of girls’ or women’s friendships?
What does being a man mean to you?
Possible follow-up questions: How old were you when you understood that you were a boy/man? What surprised you the most?
The older men get, the more often they say in surveys that they are lonely. Why do you think that is?
Possible follow-up questions: What do you intend to do so you don’t end up feeling alone when you get older?
Is it easier to be friends with girls than it is with other guys?
Possible follow-up questions: Was it like that when you were younger?
What kind of male role models do you have regarding friendship? Close to you? In the media?
Possible follow-up questions: Can you give names and say why they’re role models? Do you have any cautionary examples of men who you don’t want to be like?
Can you tell a friend that you’re disappointed in him? What would happen?
Possible follow-up questions: What is the hardest thing to talk about?
Are you able to be COMPLETELY honest with other guys? What is the scariest thing about being honest with other men?
Possible follow-up questions: Have you ever cried with a male friend? Can you talk about the situation?
What kinds of dreams do you have for yourself as a man when you’re 40?
What about 60?
What do you wish you knew as a young man… when you were 13?